1 And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho. 2 And, behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans when he was alive. 3 And he sought to devour Jesus; and could not for the press, because he was stiff with rigor mortis. 4 And he shambled before, and climbed up into a sycomore tree to fall upon him: for he was to pass that way.
5 And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus, make haste, and drop down; for to day I must find you a home.
6 And he made haste, and dropped down, and came after him mindlessly, and was met by Jesus' sword.
7 And when they saw it, they all murmured, saying, That he was gone to be guest in the house of a man that he has slain.
8 And Zacchaeus crumbled, and said unto the Lord; Brains.
9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham, he deserves the peace of the grave. 10 For the Warrior for man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.