Chapter 1: Introduction

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1 The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, zombie slayer.

2 Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us, 3 Even as they delivered them unto us, which from the beginning were eyewitnesses, and ministers of the word; 4 It seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write unto thee in order, survivors of most excellent Theophilus, 5 That thou mightest know the certainty of those things, wherein thou hast been instructed.

6 In the beginning were the living, and the living were with God, and the living were in the image of God. 7 The same was in the beginning with God. 8 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 9 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 10 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not; but the darkness pushed against the light, and bending away from the light, entered the water.

11 As it is written in the prophets, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee. 12 The voice of one crying in fear the wilderness, Prepare ye the for the end of days, make thy paths straight.